The In the Teen Times

From the Pickle Jar this evening.

What do you enjoy most about teenagers?

What is there that I enjoy about teenagers?  I mean there has to be something right?  After all, I work with them for a living.  Why in the world would I do that if there wasn't at least one thing that I really enjoyed about them?

I think that one of the things that I really like about teenagers is that they have a great deal of energy.  Granted there are times that I do wish they had either a little less energy, or a better way to release it, but all in all, I do like the fact that they are so energetic.  To be honest it helps to keep me feeling energetic as well.  Being with teens helps me to stay feeling younger than what I am, and that is a good thing I think.

Another thing that I enjoy about them is the fact that so many of them that I know really want to be able to make a difference.  And the great thing is, they still believe that they can.  I love that about them.  To them a lot of times the outlook is that there is something that needs to be fixed or changed so let's do it.  Let's fix it or change it.  They don't always worry about all the peripheral things that adults worry about.  In their eyes something needs to be done, so lets do it.  It's that easy.  I guess that in some ways there is an innocence in that.  Why can't we change these things?  All we  have to do is this, this, this and this.  There are times that I wish more adults would be able to simply look at things through the eyes of a teen and think about things in that way.  Teens can be such an agent for change if we will only let them.  What I like about this is the fact that it challenges me to look at things in that way and seek out those changes. 

Another thing is the fact that they are old enough to have started figuring out who it is that they are going to be.  Even though there is still going to be a great deal that changes in them as they grow (I hope), it is at this point that they are starting to figure out who they are and what they really believe about things. 

These are a few of the things that I enjoy about teenagers.  Peace and Love y'all.

I Feel Good

What makes you feel good? (Occasions, food, people, etc.)

So I'm back again with a love letter to the kiddos (at least that is what I'm calling it). This is a good question too about what makes me fool good. Let's see if I can give a good answer to it.

So what is there that makes me feel good? I would say that there are lots of things that can do it. There are occasions that do it, there are some foods that do it, and there are for sure some people that do it. Let's see if we can hit at least those three things and then see what happens.

1) Occasions- There are a few occasions that make me feel good it seems. One is my anniversary. It makes me feel good to know that Roni and I have been blessed with our years of marriage. It makes me feel good to know that there is consistency there. Another occasion that makes me feel good is when I find out that people I love have great things happening in their lives. Right now I have two cousins that are pregnant, and three sets of friends that have just had babies in the last 6 months. These are occasions that make me happy. I feel good when people I love experience a joyful occasion.

2) Food- What? Like food doesn't make you happy too. We all like to eat, if for no other reason than to stay alive basically. The thing is though, there are some foods themselves that just kind of make me feel good. You know as I sit here and ponder this and write it, I realize what an odd choice it really is for something that makes me feel good. One of the things recently that has made me feel good is the chicken "salad" that Roni has done for sandwiches. It's very simple, but it is oh so good. I could eat a ton of it it feels like sometimes, which ironically I'm sure would not leave me feeling so good.

3) People- One of the things that makes me feel good above most everything else is people. I should probably clarify a little bit at least. It's not really just people in general, but rather people that I have a deep affection for. So that basically breaks it down into two categories: family and friends. That probably should have been pretty easy to figure out. These are the two that do the most to make me feel good.

• Family- These are the of course the people that I get to see and talk to and spend the most time with. I love to get to spend time with Roni and Boo and Puck and Little Man. It makes me feel good to be with them. I love getting to hang out with Roni because she is my best friend and because we get each other. The kids of course are just fun to be with. Each has such a different personality and all three are so very sweet. I hope and pray that I am a good husband and father for these four very special people. Beyond that I enjoy spending time with my parents and my brothers. It makes me feel good to get to see and talk to them. We all get along well and that is a big help.
  
• Friends- After family it is my friends that make me feel good to be with. Due to the fact that the people that we are closest to as far as friendships go are all at least an hour and a half away or more, it is a big deal to get to spend time with these people. I love being able to share life with them as we are all growing and learning and experiencing things. It makes for a fantastic life experience to have people whom are as close a family members.

So what else is there that makes me feel good? Here are a few other things that have come to mind in the last few minutes.

• Working out- I know that seems like an obvious thing what with the health aspects and such, but for me the fact that I am actually doing something makes me feel good.
  
• Moments in my job- There are times that with what I do as a youth minister it can be very frustrating and discouraging. In fact our church right before coming to Quitman was like that. But, there are many times that something will happen-either a message will click just right, or an activity will lead to something deeper, or a kid will just open up-and I know that God is actually using me to help build His kingdom. When that happens, none of the rest of it-the frustrations and the discouragement-none of it matters anymore. When something clicks for these kids about what it means to be a follower of Jesus rather than simply a church goer, there is very little that makes me feel as good as that.
• Working on mission trips- It makes me feel so good when at the end of the week I can look and know that we have done our best to have an impact on someone else life with the work we do. And it's not only seeing the impact on the lives of the people being served. It's seeing the change in the lives of the ones doing the serving as well. That feels good.
• Those times when something clicks for me- There seem to be plenty of these times. I will be going along and be thinking about various things and/or praying and all of the sudden something will just make sense to me. When that happens, it does feel really good.

I think that is about it for now. I'm sure there are so many other things that I could list that make me feel good, but to be honest I'm tired and would like to sleep. That would go a long way to also making me feel good. Oh, and writing like this makes me feel good as well. Peace and Love y'all.

Marriage and Such

Here is my next Love Letter to my kids.

How old were you and your wife when you were married? Describe plans, hopes etc. at that time.

In a lot of ways when Roni and I got married, we were still just kids. I had turned 23 less than two months before and she had turned 22 less than a month before. Yet we knew this was what we were supposed to be doing. I will say this, I'm not sure 22-23 is the age that I want my own kids to be getting married, at least as I look at now.

I can't really say that we had any really big plans at the time we got married. I was working for Budget Rent-A-Car and Airport Valet in Amarillo at the time and Roni had just recently finished up a stint as the youth minister at First United Methodist Church in Quanah, TX. Early on our plan had been to get married and move to the Midland area where I could finish school at UTPB and continue as the youth minister at FUMC in Stanton. At the time it had seemed like a good plan. As the wedding got closer however I ended up leaving Stanton and going to work at Budget. All the while however we were looking for a job in youth ministry since that was really where I felt I was called (and still do).

We finally landed in Abernathy, TX as the youth minister after being married for about 2 months. Once we were somewhat stable, we began to try and figure out what those hopes and dreams of ours might be. Our first hope was to get my bank account straightened out. As a result of being a college student and an idiot with my money, I had been in a state of constant overdraft it seemed. Once we got married and finally found a job in youth ministry that was going to pay us enough to live, that was our first priority. We were able to do that fairly quickly too, so that was nice. After that we just wanted to be the best we could be as far as youth ministry went there in small town West Texas.

Besides that, we were beginning to talk about having a family. We both knew that we wanted to have kids, but the time line was not in focus at first. I would have been fine with having kids right away (at least I thought I would be), but Roni wanted to wait. We ended up waiting over 2 1/2 years before we got pregnant with Boo, and had been married for nearly 3 1/2 by the time she was born. It was one of the best plans we had ever made, both to wait to have our kids but also to have kids. That has been one of the hopes from the early days of marriage that has far exceeded anything we could have imagined.

At the time we got married we were still kids basically. We didn't know what our long term hopes and dreams were, and even the ones we did have been tweaked and changed in the near 11 years the beginning of this crazy ride. We are still yearning to be the best ministers we can be to the youth of our church, now located in Quitman, TX. I know that I still love Roni with all my heart and truly far beyond that. In all honesty, that is all that I really ever hoped and dreamed for: to be able to marry a woman that I would be able to love for the rest of my days, and that is what I have been given. I hope that her plans and hopes of the time were at least similar to what mine were, and I hope that our hopes and plans continue to grow with us as we grow together. Peace and Love y'all.

Brotherly Love

Here is the newest Love Letter.

Are your siblings also your friends? Have you always gotten along or were there times that you fought? Tell stories about each of them.

Well ok. So there are four of us in case any you didn't realize that, and we are all boys. According to Mom that is all she ever wanted was to have boys. I guess she got her wish. Growing up there were of course times that I fought with all my siblings. We never really got into any kind of knock down-drag out fights, but we fought for sure. Most times it was more of a case of just getting on each others nerves.

At this point though, with all of us being grown I would say that I am friends with them all. There are still times that we get on each others nerves I'm sure, but I would say that I am friends with all three of them. And throughout the years, I have been closer to each one in turn, depending on the circumstances. In high school, Bryan and I were closer mainly due to being the into the same things. When I lived in Abernathy and Brock was going to Tech, we were closer and spent a lot of time together. And when we lived in Sweetwater, it was Caleb that I was closest too and spent the most time with. That is just the way that it goes honestly. The more time you spend with a person, the closer you get to them, and that is what happened in our case.

Let me tell you a story about each brother now. This should be interesting.

Bryan- He is the next oldest after me, so by default we have been together the longest. I remember a time when I was about 9 years old and he was 6. Being boys we liked to at times pretend to fight and punch each other. We didn't really hit one another. Then one day as he and I were walking along, I asked him this question: "Hey, do you want to real fight?" and he replied, "OK." So after we had walked a few more steps, I tapped him on the shoulder and when he looked back at me, I punched him in the face. Needless to say, he was rather unhappy with this development and went to tell Mom what had transpired. Upon being called into the house, I explained to Mom what the situation was and that I had first asked and he had accepted the invitation to "real fight." What Bryan and I both remember from this experience is that after giving my explanation, I did not get into trouble for punching my younger brother in the face. (That was the fighting story)

Brock- He is number 3 in birth order and is 5 years younger than I am. So when he was about 4 Brock started playing t-ball in Greenwood. In that first year he was on the gold team, which was always about a 3rd place team (not a lot of parity in little league back in the day. The gold team switched to the black team eventually, but it was still the same). So in one of his games, Brock gets a hit and reaches base. As he is standing there, the first base coach gives him some instructions. They went something like this: "OK Brock, see our other coach over there at third base? When we hit the ball, I want you to run to him, OK?" Now Brock was one that was good at following directions, and sure enough, as soon as the ball was hit he took off...straight across the field skipping second base all together. Brock now refuses to play baseball and softball due to a fear that they are actually trying to hit him with the ball, no matter where he is on the field.

Caleb- Finally we reach the youngest of us. Caleb has many stories from which to choose from. There are a couple that come to mind right off. Caleb also began playing t-ball when he was about 4 years old. I remember being at one of his games once when he reached base. Eventually he ended up on third (going the traditional route to second base). Once the ball was hit with him on third the coach sent him home. As he crossed the plate and turned back to the dugout, he stopped briefly in front of the fans on his teams side...to take a bow.

Another story that stands out to me is from his early elementary days. When I was in the middle of high school, 10th or 11th grade, Caleb's age group was doing a fundraiser and selling candy bars. This happened to be during basketball season, and one night while at a home game Caleb decided to peddle his wares in the stands. This however was not enough. At one point during a timeout of the varsity boys game, Caleb recognized the assistant coach and decided to see if he would be interested in buying some candy from him. So as the team stood near the bench during a timeout Caleb laid down and reached under the bottom rail and tapped Coach Poss on the head and asked if he would be interested in purchasing some of his chocolate. Needless to say, Coach declined at that particular moment.

So there you have it. We are friends, and really have been from the beginning. We have had our moments when we fought and didn't get along, but in the end we are family and we love each other, and that is what is really important. Peace and Love y'all.

Hopes and Dreams for my Kids

Wow, I haven't written on here in a long time. I got into the mindset of not writing just to be writing, and it seems to have stymied me a bit on the whole writing thing...and that rather sucks. I've barely even written on my other blog, The Bull's Horn, or even my youth blog, 2Forty2. I resolve now that I shall remedy that soon. OK, anyway, I was on here for a reason. I have pulled a new question out of my trusty jar and will now prepare to astound you with the way I answer said question...OK, so I will just try to answer the question and you can respond to it as you see fit. Here is the question that I have pulled forth:

Tell about dreams, expectations, hopes that you have for each of your kids.

(Right I know. It's not really phrased in the form of a question, but what is this Jeopardy? Yeah, I didn't think so.)

Man where do I start? I can say that these are not things that I ever really put much thought into before I had kids. That kind of changes once the kids are here. You start thinking about what you want for them: how you want to be able to provide for them and what you want to be able to do for them. How you want to see them grow and be loved. It is crazy to start thinking about. I never knew that I could desire so much for someone else like I do for my kids.

First and foremost, let me start by saying that I want each of my children to know without doubt that their Daddy loves them with every bit of himself that he can muster. I would do anything for my three babies. Thanks to them I have an inkling, albeit small, of how God must feel toward me, and how deep His Love and Grace must really run. It is my hope above all else that they realize how very much I love them.

On top of that, collectively, it is my hope that they will realize they are free to be who they are. I hope they never feel any kind of pressure from me to be something that they really are not. I would love for my kids to be athletic, but if they just don't dig it, I don't want to force that. I would love for them to be into drama and such, but again if not, that's fine. I don't want to project my self onto them. From punk rock, to (gasp) cowboy, to (bigger gasp) cheerleader...I will support them as best I can all along the way.

Finally, it is my hope and dream and expectation for all three of them that they will follow hard after God. That they will understand the life of Love and Grace that He has for them and is calling them to in His Son Jesus. I want them to choose to go after Him with all their might. To dig into what it means to live out faith and to be that light to a darkened world. I love them too much to not want this for them.

I want them to each be individuals.

For Boo, it is my desire that she will grow up and into her heart that is so full of compassion. She is such a loving and caring little girl. My hope and dream and desire is for her to understand how that is such a wonderful benefit not only for her but for those that she will come into contact with. Above all else, I hope and desire that she will be a woman of God.

For Puck, it is my hope that she continues to live life to the fullest that she can. She is such a sweet little girl and so generous. I desire to see her living and loving as she grows. I hope she continues to march and dance to the music that is inside of her rather than deciding that the music on the outside is better. Like her sister, I hope and desier that she will be a woman of God.

For The Little Man I hope and desire for him to be a man of God and action. To be someone who isn't afraid to act on his convictions and to live a life of faith. It's hard to say much more for him though really since he is only 2.

I guess I don't really have any specific hopes or dreams for my kids as far as careers go. I can joke that it would be nice to have someone who can and will make enough money to one day take care of me, but a joke is all that would be really. I love my children, and I find it difficult to imagine my life without them here. Most of all, I want the best for them. Peace and Love y'all.

Politically Correct

So I have realized that I really need to write more of these. It has been a couple of weeks now since I last wrote anything actually. In my defense though, I have been very busy with studying Revelation for Wednesday nights and that has drained me a bit when it comes to writing I guess. I have been looking at the jar off and on for a couple of weeks. Anyway, I decided that tonight would be the night to get back to it. So here it is.

What are some of your political views? What characteristics do you want to see in our Presidents?

I thought it was kind of funny to draw out this question at this point seeing as how at the time I was just discussing with a friend about the fact that President Obama has been on TV more in his first 100+ days in office than I remember Bush being in 8 years it seems like. I realize that this isn't the case (yet) seeing as how President Bush had to give 8 State of the Union addresses, but it's sure getting close. I think maybe he likes to use the teleprompter a little too much. By the way, do you think he uses it when he's having a conversation with Michelle? Ok, that is way off point I know.

I guess where my political views are would depend on who you ask. If you ask me, I would say that I am an independent moderate for the most part. If you asked Roni, she would tell you that I was more liberal now than I was a few years ago, and if you asked some of my more liberal friends, they might tell you that I am a conservative. About all of this I will say that I really don't care about politics all that much. It is not something that has ever really held a great deal of interest for me. What I want is a person who will come in and do what is actually best for those people who don't have the luxury of money, even though they are gainfully employed and such. I'm tired of all the "I'll give you this if you will give me that" type of things that go on. I don't understand why there is so much red tape with things at times. It's kind of like serving...you see a need so you do what needs to be done to meet that need. Not all of this other stuff.

I believe that we should be taking care of the poor and doing our best to bring peace to this world, even if it is just a very small part of it at a time. I believe that all people have rights, not just the people who yell the loudest about it. I think that if we would begin to treat others with some respect and if we actually acted in love it would make a difference. We wouldn't have a need for all the politics then. Do I think this will happen? Not really. I think it would help though.

As far as our presidents go, I want someone who will get in do their best to do what they actually said they were going to do. I want hem to be concerned about what needs to be done to bring about a bit of peace. Be a leader and do the right things consistantly. That is what I really want.

I want it to be that we are no longer concerned about liberal and conservative, but rather about what is right and what is good and what is best for all of us. I want leaders who are trying to do what is actually right not just what is easy. I think if we can have a President who will take a stand and do that which is right, we would begin to see the crap of politics begin to wane and we could actually get done the things that need to be done to help (re)build this country. Peace and Love y'all.

The Get Aways

Well the time has finally come to write once again. I have been putting it off for no particular reason as of late, and I decided that tonight was going to be the night that I finally did a new love letter. So, here you go.

Describe a favorite vacation in your married years.

I again don't know that I can really limit this to just one. It' s not that we have just been able to go on a ton of vacations, but rather that we have done different kinds of vacations I guess. So I will just name the vacations that I have most enjoyed since getting married.

1) We went to Seattle when Boo was about 18 months old. It was a fantastic experience for us. The city was incredible, and the whole area was just so cool. The only problem that I really had with going to Seattle was the fact that we were there in August and that is right BEFORE their rainy season starts. I was so disappointed. I mean, if you go to Seattle, you more or less expect it to rain...they are famous for it after all. We did some pretty cool things though while we were there however. We spent a couple of days down on the water front. We did a Harbor Cruise there where we got to hear various things about the city from Elliot Bay. We went to Space Needle but the fog rolled on so thick that we couldn't really see much from up there. We visited a cool zoo, and I think our favorite thing was our dinner theater experience out on Blake Island. That was so very cool. We took a boat out to the island and when we got there, they serve you this traditional meal of what the natives would have had. It starts off with a clam soup appetizer that was better than expected. Then, much like the native tribes of old, we went single file through the serving line. We had salmon that was baked over an open flame and was awesome; red potatoes, some beans, bread, and of course the most authentic part of the whole thing, the small fish shaped chocolate in gold foil, just like the original tribes would have. Over all it was just a really cool place that we enjoyed visiting and would love to go back to.

2) Right before Boo turned 3 we went on family vacation to San Antonio. We did all the things that you do as a tourist in San Antonio: we went to the zoo, we went to River walk, we went to the Alamo. We also went to Sea World with a two day pass. At this time Boo was still our only child, so it was much easier to do some of these things. We had such a good time as a small family on this trip. We did learn however that had we just simply stayed at the motel and let Boo swim all day, she would have been perfectly content and we could have saved a bit of money.

3) The last one that I will mention would probably be the trip that Roni and I took to New Orleans two years ago. It was the first vacation that we had taken as the two of us since Boo and Puck had come along. We had a great time, and it got to be the honeymoon that didn't really get when we first got married. Once we were there, Roni had us going everywhere and doing everything. We went to the zoo, we were in the French Quarter, we took a carriage ride, a paddle boat cruise on the Mississippi River, and even did a walking Ghost Touron our last night there. The only real complaint that I have had about this vacation was the fact that by the time we had done all of these things, we were both so worn out and sore that it wasn't even funny.

So there it is I suppose. Three of my favorite vacations since getting married. They are nothing spectacular really, but they were great times for us to be together as a family as well as a time for Roni and I to be away. I'm looking forward to more of these in the future. Peace and Love y'all.

That's Amore

So here it is...the next installment of Daddy's Love Letters!! It seems like it has been a long time since I wrote one of these. So here is this go rounds topic.

How did you know that you were in love with Moma? How will we know when we are in love? Do you think everyone falls in love at sometime in their lives?

Well, this is an easy question to try and write an answer for. And it's not just a single question...it's three that are all connected. I will be honest, I drew this slip about four days ago and have been putting it off so I could consider what my answers would be. Not sure that that really helped a whole lot. Right, so lets take this in sections shall we?

I think I knew I was in love with Roni when I couldn't let her go. Even when I was dating someone else, I couldn't let her go. I wouldn't do anything other than just hang out with her, but there was just that feeling I guess. I remember when we first went out and I told Heath that I felt like I could see myself with her for a really long time. Yeah I know that that isn't really an answer, but it's part of the story. When I didn't want her to date anyone else I had an inkling of what was going on in me.

On top of that, there was the day that I woke up and just knew that this was the person that I was going to be with. I had gone to sleep on March 2nd 1998 and I woke up on March 3rd just knowing that God had told me that I was supposed to marry her. I don't remember if it was a dream or what , I just know that I knew at that point.

Now as far as the second question about how you will know that you are in love. To be honest I can't tell you anything that is a sure fire way to know. I know that when you can't be without that person and you are able to put their needs and desires before your own, well that's a good start for knowing if you are in love. This is a question that I have gotten from all three of my brothers, and I told them the same: I don't know how you know if you are in love, you just do. When you reach that point, you will know.

For the third part of this question, yeah I think that everyone falls in love at sometime in their life. That doesn't mean that you are going to end up with that person. I think of one of the pastors that I worked for/with years ago. This person was single and had been for years, and yet at one point they had been engaged. They had been in love, even though in the end that love didn't work out like they thought it would. Being in love doesn't mean that you will end up with that person forever. For some, being in love like that is merely a season of life. That doesn't mean that you were not in love or that you never will be again, it simply means that at that time, it wasn't what was right for you.

I think that's about it. I don't know what else I can say on this subject really. Who knows, I might end up having to rewrite this thing at some point when I have a better idea of how to really answer these questions better. We'll see. Peace and Love y'all.

Then and Now

So I was sitting here and decided to draw a slip to answer before bed. Almost wanted to put the slip back but I will go ahead with it.

What thing do you enjoy today that you enjoyed doing as a child? Describe then and now differences, similarities etc.

This was a touch question really. I was trying to think of what there was that I used to like to do when I was a kid that I still like doing now. I guess there are a few things, but I was telling Roni that really it kind of depends on how far back you want to go when considering what it means to be a child.

One of the things that I really liked to do when I was younger was to read. When I was in elementary school, I would go to the library pretty much every morning to look around and find books that I wanted to read. I would go and check them out and then I would read them as fast as I could, turn them back in and get more. Some of my favorites were the Encyclopedia Brown books. These were short books that had the adventures of a boy called Encyclopedia Brown whose dad was the chief of police. He would solve mysteries during the summers with his friends, many times having to do with the same bully. The stories would conclude with him knowing the answer to the mystery and the reader would have to turn to the back of the book to get the answer and explanation. I thought they were great books.

These days, I still love to read. I was thinking about this just the other day in fact and how it seems that I always have some kind of book that I am reading or wanting to read. The difference now is in what I choose to read. Now I tend to read things like Blue Like Jazz and Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller; The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning and other various books that deal with Christian living and growth. I also still love to read fiction. The fiction that read now is a bit more grown up than the Encyclopedia Brown books, but not always (some of my favorites are the Harry Potter books). I guess it is that in some ways our tastes and interests change as we get older.

Other than that I have always loved spending time with my friends both then and now. The similarity here is that some of the friends are still the same as when I was a kid. The difference is in what we can do. It's still one of my favorite things to do though, to spend time with friends.

I liked playing video games as a child. It started with Justin's Atari and progressed from there to the original Nintendo and then Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. As I have gotten older it has moved to the Playstation, Playstation 2 and XBOX. The graphics are better and the games more involved.

Finally, I liked writing when I was younger and I still like doing it now. The biggest differences I suppose would be what I write about and how I do it. As a kid I liked to try and be creative and create stories (I would still love to do this, I just don't seem to take the time to be creative I guess). Now I choose to write on here about other things like sports, family and faith. I still love to write, but I want to be sure that I have something to say when I do.

I guess that's about it really. Those are some of the things that I like to do now that I also liked to do as a kid. Funny how even though some things about them change, really the basics of it is the same. Peace and Love y'all.

A Place to Call Home

Here is my next letter.

Where did your parents live when they were first married? Tell about other places where they lived as well.

Well let's see now. When Mom and Dad (or Gran'maw and Daddy Bill) first got married they lived in Snyder in the Coleman Apartments. It seems that I was born while they lived there, but I have no memory of that seeing as how I was less than a year old at the time. What I do know about the Coleman Apartments is that by the time I was old enough to be looking at moving out and getting my own place, there were some ads for there and Mom and Dad both assured me that it was not the best place to live anymore and that there was a reason that they were cheap. So I didn't end up there.

Anyway, after that we lived in a couple of rent houses there in Snyder. I have vauge memories of a house on 31st street and then I can remember living in a house on 41st street. That was a house that I really liked. Well let me say that it is a house that I can remember. This is probably the first house that I really have clear memories of.

After that we lived in a trailer house both outside of Snyder and in Midland. This is one of the houses where I made a great memories. This is the house we lived in when I met Justin and James and Jamie and Derrick and so many others. It is the house we lived in when we would play football and baseball on a regular basis in the neighborhood. The house we lived in when I was playing guns and G.I. Joes and Transformers. This is where we lived when we built our ramps and jumped our bikes on them and the dirt hill and dug huge holes in the pasture behind us.

After a while Mom and Dad bought an actual house behind the school where we went. This was the house where I first kissed a girl and first learned to drive. It was where I first went wrapping and stayed up all night. It was the house where I lived all through junior high and high school. It was where some friends and I were chased while wrapping one night and where we hung out on so many occasions.

There have been a couple of other places since then. But those are the ones that really stand out in my mind. The houses that had the biggest impact for me. Peace and Love y'all.

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

What are you frightened of? Why?

I guess I could say that it is something easy like snakes or spiders or underlines that won't go away on here. Those would all be too easy really; spiders bother me more than really scare me, snakes are things I just avoid if at all possible, and the underline? Well that is just a pain in the butt really.

There are other things I could say too. Things like death and dying. But death itself has no real fear for me (I fear it for what it would mean for my family) and dying just depends on how.

The things that I am really frightened of are the things that I can't really control. I am afraid of something happening to my children- to Averi or Aspen or Knight. I am afraid of something happening to Roni and being without her. These are things that really truly frighten me. The reason is because of the fact that I love each of these people so much, so deeply, that I find it hard to envision what it would be like to not have one of them here with me.

I also have a fear of not being able to take care of my family. This scares me because of knowing that I am responsible for lives other than just my own. I want to be able to give them all the best that I can and to be sure that they are provided for. The thought of not being able to do this is something that scares me on a very deep level. I will do whatever it takes to be able to make sure they all are taken care of to be best of my ability.

So there it is. That is what really frightens me above all other things. Probably not the most insightful of writings, but it's the truth. Peace and Love y'all.

That's the Color of...

What is your favorite color?

This one should be pretty easy I would think. I am not going to say that just one single color is my favorite, but I will give you what my four favorite colors are. This way I can feel like I am very diverse.

1) Black- This one has been one of my favorites for a long time really. I know that it would be more accurate to call it my favorite absence of all color, but we don't usually see it that way do we? I'm not sure why it is that I like black so much. I'm not of the "Gothic" persuasion, nor am I of the "vampire" persuasion. It is just a color that I found that I like to wear. Perhaps this is due to the fact that it goes with just about anything really. Whatever the reason, it is and has always been one of my favorite colors.

2) Gray- Again, I'm not sure what it is about this color that I find so appealing. I guess that it is just that I wear it a lot and it seems to go with everything. On top of that, maybe it is that in athletics this is what our shorts and shirts were that we wore in off season. Regardless of the reason, it is one of the colors that I find most often in my closet.

3) Blue- This is the universal color of males everywhere right? Really I like all the shades of blue I guess...except maybe that real light pastel color. This is the color of my car, and it is the color that Superman wears. It is one of the colors in our flag, and it is the color of yonder (it's wild). I wear it on occasion, and I have been told that it looks good on me.

4) Columbia Blue & White- Yeah I know, that is two separate colors, but together they make up one of my favorite combinations. It is the color combo of the North Carolina Tar Heels (not the reason), but above all else it is the color of the Greenwood Rangers. This is my high school Alma mater, and I have a lot of school pride. To the point that if there was anyway I could get my kids in school there I would do it in a heartbeat. It is what I wore on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights for six years playing sports. If is the color I wore when I walked across the stage on graduation. It is a color combination that I have many memories in. It is a good combo and probably number 1 on the list if it were in order.

So there it is. A list of my favorite colors. Peace and Love y'all.

Activity

Well here is another of the love letters. I decided to post twice today. Again, the goal and point behind these is to have something to pass on to my kids in the future. For now, I'm sharing these things with you dear readers.

Between the ages of 5 and 10 what was your favorite activity?

Well, I guess that I had a few favorite activities in that time span. Here are a few of them I will tell you about.

Saturday Morning Cartoons- Man back when I was between 5 and 10 there were some great cartoons that came on. I remember that I was very willing to get up as early as possible to start watching these shows. One of my favorite ones was the Super Friends. This was a great show that had all kinds of superheros like Superman, Batman & Robin, Green Lantern, and Wonder Woman. These were the original episodes. After a few years they expanded the show and added some characters, like Apache Chief, and Green Arrow. They also added the Legion of Doom. There was also Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends as well as the Incredible Hulk. These were some of my favorite shows. There were of course others that I really liked on Saturday mornings.

Weekday cartoons- During this time of my life there were also cartoons that came on in the afternoons that I watched all the time. Early on the favorite was Scooby-Doo. As I got older, there was G.I. Joe, and the Transformers. There was also He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. One of my favorite things was to watch the cartoons and then go out and play like I was one of the people from the cartoon. There was also the morning when The Bozo Show was on and they would show a segment of either G.I. Joe or Transformers every morning before school. It was great.

Playing with G.I. Joes and Transformers- Man we had tons of these things. The G.I. Joes were 3 1/4" figures and they were the greatest toys every made for kids. They had all kinds of places where they would bend and twist. On top of that they were army figures and that was all kinds of fun to set up adventures for. The Transformers were cool too, seeing as how they would go from being a car, or a jet to being a robot...how cool is that?

Playing "guns"- Man there was a time when me and all my friends would get together and just play guns. We all had toy guns and we would more or less divide up into teams and run around playing like we were in the Army or were cops of something like that. It was one of the most fun things that we ever did. It was just good times.

Riding Bikes- We would do this all the time. Myself, and James and Justin and Derrick, and Bryan. We would ride up and down the street of Pecan Grove and just hang out. There was a large mound of dirt behind my house, affectionately known as "the dirt hill" and we would go over there with our bikes and ride over it and try to jump it. One of our favorite things though was to find old boards and to set up ramps. We would build them as high as we dared (about 6" to 2 feet) and then we would ride from far enough back to feel like we were gathering a good amount of speed and jump the ramp. We did this over and over, even when we busted it on the street.

Playing football and baseball- Living in a trailer park in Midland was fun. There was rarely any time that we lacked an empty lot to play in. We would find one of the lots and we would play football or baseball. It was fun, but it did lead to some competition issues at times. It was good times on a regular basis.

I guess that those are some of my favorite activities when I was between the ages of 5 and 10. Those were great times in my life and I have very fond memories of those days. Peace and Love y'all.

College

So here is my newest love letter.

How do you feel about college or continuing education? How will we know what we are supposed to do about a career?


So let me tell you how I feel about college and continuing education. College is something that is really good. And in the world today, you just about have to have a degree of some sort to get a good job. I know that my college experience was a great time in my life (even if it was a really long portion of my life). It was in that time that I was able to really kind of figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I made some of the best friends that I have, and above all, I met my wife in college. I took classes that I liked, and I learned things that were of interest to me.

Now with that said, I will tell you that that doesn't mean that college is the right choice for everyone. I know people who college just wasn't their thing, and that's fine. There are other things out there that can be done and done well that don't require that you go to college. I know people who have gone to school, and done fine with it, but it wasn't what they wanted to be doing. So don't go to college just because you think it is what you are supposed to do according to society.

Continuing education I think is a different thing all together. That is something that you do on a shorter basis, and is usually connected to your job. At this point, continuing education is one of my favorite things to do. It's fun to learn new things and hear new ideas...sometimes it helps you to have your own ideas.

As far as knowing what to do about a career, well, that is up to you really. I can't tell you what it is that you are supposed to do, or even how to know for sure how you will know when you find it. The best way that I can offer to let you know is this: find something that you are passionate about, that you love doing, and that you feel fulfilled doing. That is how you will know what it is that you should be doing as a career. That's the best that I can give you on the career advice. That and to really pray about what it is that God is calling you to do. Here's the thing, anything we do can be used to glorify God and can be a ministry area, when God has called you to do it, and you are willing to give the credit and glory back to Him (this of course is all within the confines of being a job that doesn't cause others to stumble and sin: I have a hard time thinking that you can be a stripper, or a prostitute, or drug dealer, or porn star and use those careers to minister and bring glory to God, but maybe that's just me you know?).

So there it is. My take on college, continuing ed and careers. Peace and Love y'all.

This is How We Do It

So here is the next installment of Daddy's Love Letters. Again, if you are just joining us, this is something that Roni put together for me one year for Christmas. It's an old pickle jar full of questions that I pull out periodically and answer here, for you dear reader. I also am writing these with the intention of someday printing them and putting them into some kind of book-like form for my children...this way they might be able to gain a little bit of insight into why it is that Daddy is the way he is...whatever that may be. So without further delay, here is the next category.

Tell about family traditions: Christmas, birthdays, graduations, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Easter, weddings, etc.

So, what are my family traditions? I guess I will go with what I did growing up first and then move on to what we do now in our own family.

For Christmas, I think I have mentioned before that we were not normal, yet we didn't really realize that for a very long time. I don't know for sure when it was that it started, our Christmas tradition. We would go to bed each Christmas Eve, and of course have great difficulty falling asleep. Once we finally did though, we would be sure to get up as early as possible for Christmas morning. In fact, we would get up sometimes as early as 4:30am to do our Christmas morning things. We always opened our gifts on the morning of, along with what we got from Santa. We would get up and one of us would have to go in and get Mom and Dad up so we could have our tree time. In Greenwood, this meant one of two things: either they were in one of our rooms, or whoever went to get them, had to face the temptation of looking at the red lights of the tree and seeing what had been left there by Santa, therefore getting to see what everyone else got, which was against the rules. In Snyder, we just went down the hall and get them. We would then have to sit in the hallway and stare at the red glow of Christmas tree lights, wondering what it was that they were illuminating. It was great tradition, and is one that I would like a great deal to carry on with my own kids, especially as my brothers and I are all grown and Christmas is a bit different now.

Birthdays were the days that we got to have whatever cake we wanted, and could have some friends over for a "sleepover." It was in the 7th grade when I first did this that I stayed up all night. For my girls now we invite over a few friends and family and have cake and open presents, and just try to make it a special day for them.

Graduations, really we just had family that came to see us, and we would spend the day not going to school and just getting ready for that night. None of us had to ever prepare any kind of speech for anything at the ceremonies, so there was nothing to pressing that needed to be done. That night we would go to our All-Night party and then try and sleep all the next day.

For the 4th of July, we would just get together and sit outside and watch the fireworks shows when we were in Snyder, and even sometimes in Midland we would go toward town and watch the shows. No big get togethers or anything like that on a regular basis really. The same is what we are doing now with our kids.

Thanksgiving was the day where we would all get together with Grandad and Marita, and the rest of the family, and we would watch football and the brothers and I would go outside and throw the football around and just laugh and have fun being together. Eventually we would eat Thanksgiving Lunch around 2:30 or 3:00 and then have leftovers for dinner like 3 or 4 hours later. These days, Roni and I are trying to figure out what we would like our family tradition to be. In the last couple of years we have stayed home for Thanksgiving. We're still working on this one.

Easter, we would always go to wherever it was that Grandad was appointed and spend the weekend there with them. We did egg hunts when we were younger, but eventually we just kind of played basketball, or football or whatever we could find to do. Since I now work for a church, we pretty much stay home for Easter now and invite whatever family members can or want to to join us.

For weddings, Roni and I, Brock and Jamie and Mom and Dad all had Grandad to perform the ceremony. Now that Grandad has passed away it seems to have fallen to me to do this. We tend to all get tegether and spend time just hanging out and having some fun before the wedding and then those of us not getting married like to hang out a bit afterward as well.

I can't really think of any other family traditions that we had, other than to drive everywhere we ever went for vacation. Dad hates to fly, so no matter where we were going, we were going to be driving to get there. Really I had my own tradition within all of that. I was usually fine on the way to where ever it was we were headed, but on the way home, I hated making stops unless they were absolutely necessary. You see, I hated the trip home because I was ready to be there. Let me tell you, that is one tradition that I hope to not carry on...and I'm sure that my own family is so very glad that it is not one of our traditions any more.

Well I guess that is about it for my family traditions. Peace and Love y'all.

Courting

So here is the next installment of Daddy's Love Letters.

Tell a courtship story about your parents. How they met, etc.

So it seems, from my talks with Mom about how they met and all of that good stuff, that my parents happened to meet at work. Mom was a cashier at Gibson's (a Wal-Mart type store that isn't really around anymore), and Dad was an assistant manager. They met and Dad asked her out on a date. They went on their first date, and Dad asked for a second date, two nights later due to the fact that he already had a date with someone else to go see Willie Nelson on the day in between (it seems that Dad had it going on).

It was on this second date, three days after meeting, that Pops told Mom that he was going to marry her. Mom said yes so it seems that it worked out for him. They then dated or courted for about three months and were married. This, although not ideal, seems to have worked for them, they have been married for 35 years as of this writing.

So that is the story (as far as what I know) of how my parents met and their courtship. It was truly a whirlwind type of thing and yet it seems to have worked for them. Peace and love y'all.

Under the Influence

So I have drawn a new slip of paper, and will once again be writing one of these here "love letters." I hope it makes sense and is enjoyable.

What person has influenced you the most in your life? Tell of characteristics of this person.

Man this is a tough question. Like everything else, it depends on the phase of life that I am in.

What I would like to say is that my Dad has had the most influence on my life, and he has had a large influence, but growing up, it was hard because he worked so much. In that way, it is difficult to say. Dad is a big influence on me now that I am older. He is kind, and stands for what he believes is right. He is a man of God and he is honest with people. He has done what he felt he was supposed to do in his life, and to me that is huge.

In my early teens there were four guys that had a huge influence on me. These four guys helped to shape me into the man that I am really. In that very influential time of my life, these guys probably had the biggest effect on me.

The first (and these are in no particular order really) is Adam Harris. Adam was a couple of years older than me in school, but we were in the same youth group. Adam was just the guy that had the huge personality, and was just crazy really. Even early on, before I was in the high school youth group, Adam would make a point of inviting me to do things with them after the evening service. It was that acceptance that had a big influence on me, and that I have tried to carry on to include others, regardless.

After that there was Jimmy Cox. Jimmy was actually about 5 years older than me, and wasn't active in church until after he graduated. That was when he really finally met Jesus. From there, he let it take over his life. I think that Jimbo's influence on me was that he taught me, maybe indirectly, that it's ok to still be human while serving God. He was willing to take me under his wing and treat me like I was as good a friend of his as anyone else that he knew. He was just willing to invest time in me and with me, which is what I try to do now with the youth I deal with.

The next guy was Damon Stalvey. Damon was the kind of guy that I was able to regard as a brother. He was a senior when I was a freshman, and he looked out for me. Damon was the guy that picked me up every week on Wednesday night and took me to youth. That helped to make it easier on my parents who led a home Bible study on the same night each week. I remember one night in youth as we sat around talking about the topic of dating and how far is too far, and I said something that was not really bright (I was a freshman, what do you expect?), and the other guys were jumping on me about it, and it was Damon who stepped in and told them to back off. That has always stuck out in my mind. Damon is a man who stands for what he believes regardless of the consequences. That is something that I have learned from him.

Finally there was David Skinner. He was my youth minster when I was in the 8th-10th grades. Dave taught me what it meant to follow hard after God. I always wanted to be Dave when I was younger (I've gotten over that now). He was the kind of guy that made you feel immediately welcome. I remember the first time I ever met Dave. It was on the way to a Schlitterbahn trip. I was about to be in the 8th grade, and I had just gotten back from some other trip that summer and we were getting ready to go. I was sitting in the van that I would ride in, and Dave came over to the van with the sole intention of meeting me. That was just something that stayed with me, and I try to do the same.

One of, if not the, most consistent influence in my life has of course been my mom. She has been supportive of me in almost everything that I have ever wanted to do. Thanks in large part to her, I grew up going to church and having a knowledge of who Jesus is before I really knew who Jesus is. She helped me to understand what it is to be Christlike int the things that I do.

Now in this stage of my life, Roni is one of the big influences for me. She makes me stop and think before I do things, which is a good thing. She does all the tough things that come with being married to me like to hold me accountable for things and to be a sounding board for me. She constantly shows me Jesus and how to be more like him. Like Mom, she has helped me to see what it really means to be Christlike in my life.

Finally as I have gotten older and grown in my understanding of what it means to be a Christian, Jesus has had the biggest influence on my life. I see more and more with him what it means to love others, and to really be willing to pour myself out for others. That it is more important to love God and the people he created and loves, than it is to be concerned about all the "rules" that we tend to be concerned with. More and more in my life, I have found that it is better to just follow the example of Jesus, and try to live in the same way that he did. That is a huge amount of influence.

Other than that, I would say that the influences in my life currently are mainly authors and speakers who have ideas that I tend to latch onto. I don't know those guys like I know the others that I have mentioned. Rob Bell, Donald Miller, Brennan Manning, and Ted Dekker. These are some of the other, more slight influences in my life. Well I guess that is it. Peace and Love y'all.

A Friend's a Friend Forever...

So here is the next installment of my little series Daddy's Love Letters. I believe that this is the fifth installment of this. I hope that you have enjoyed them so far.

Describe a favorite childhood friend and some things you did with him or her.

So here we go. I guess that I would have to really try and do some sorting with this one. I had a lot of friends in my childhood...I have a lot of friends now...so it is hard to be able to pick any single favorite really. I think that what I will have to do is to pick a friend from different phases of my childhood. If you don't like this, well too bad, this is how I'm gonna do it.

Phase 1- Early Childhood (pre-move to Midland [I thought about labeling this as the BM days- Before Midland- but you can see how that would look])
These would be the days of Kindergarten and 1st grade. I think that at this point my favorite friend would have to be Angie Robinson. We were friends for a couple of reasons really. The first was that we went to the same church, so we got to see each other at least once a week it seemed. On top of that, our moms were really good friends, so in that way we saw each other a lot more. I remember that we used to stay with each other and we would run around and just have fun being little kids. I recall one time in particular when we played Grease 2 after watching it. I just had to be that "cool rider."

Phase 2- Elementary School (The Greenwood Days 2nd-5th grades) After we moved to Midland and I started going to school in Greenwood, there was one girl in particular that I enjoyed hanging out with. Her name was Shirlinda Owens. We were in the same class in the 2nd grade when I first moved there, and she was one of the first people to take me in as a friend in that class, which was good because it was a pretty rough first couple of weeks. We would run around at recess, and play with G.I. Joes.

Outside of school, I had about three guys that I really liked to hang with. James Settles, Justin Nesbitt, and Derick Freeman. I recall that we would ride our bikes around the trailer park where we lived and build ramps and make jumps over them. We would dig big freaking holes in the pasture behind our houses, and we would play G.I. Joe and Transformers and "guns" at each others houses. We loved spending the night with each other and just running around.

Phase 3- Junior High (6th-8th grade) In 6th grade we moved to a house behind the school. In this new neighborhood, I started hanging out with some new friends. The main people that I hung out with were Candice Newman and Burke Martin. We would just hang out and play basketball or watch movies, or play Nintendo. We also had a few nights of getting up and going toilet papering a few times.

Phase 4- High School(9th-12th grades) For my Freshman and Sophomore years I hung out with older people mainly. Damon Stalvey, Adam Harris, Amber Allen, Dan Mayo. These were all people who were sophomores, juniors and seniors when I was in 9th and 10th grade. We were all in the same youth group and the older guys really helped to shape who I was. We would go to church, go to movies, and play ball together.

In my Junior year, I shifted to hanging out with people who were younger than me mainly. It was really just by one grade, but these people became my best friends. I hung out with Justin, and James and Candice, and we added Edward Kennephol to the group. We would go to movies, and just go into town and hang out. We would all gather at one house and rent movies, or we would go to ball games. Mainly we just liked to sit at lunch and talk and chill. It was good times, and these are the people that I'm still in touch with. These were my favorite friends.

All my friends have been very dear to me and I have always enjoyed spending time with each of them. Peace and Love y'all.

That Old College Try

So here we go with another one of the love letters that I have been writing.

Did you go to college or take vocational training? What, when & where?

Sure enough I did go to college...four of them to be exact. I started in the fall of 1994. We moved (back) to Snyder after I had graduated from high school in Midland. All of my desires and hopes and plans for college got changed a bit that year. First I thought I would go to Midland College, since I was a graduate from a local area school, I would be able to go for basically free for those first two years. Well with moving that changed. Also, as a senior I really put a lot of thought into going to a place like Howard Payne in Brownwood. Well being a private school, that didn't exactly work out for me.

So once it was clear that neither of those were going to happen, and I hadn't really looked into much of anywhere else, it became clear that the best place to go would be WTC (Western Texas College) in Snyder. It was cheap and it was local. So in the fall of 1994, I started my college career there as a drama major. After the first semester I decided that I would sit out a semester...this became a running theme for me.

So in the fall of 1995, I started back to WTC really undecided, but leaning toward the idea of coaching. It was ok and I stayed there for two semesters trying to get all of my basics out of the way. Well I was also trying to decide where to go next. So after three semesters at WTC, I finally transfered to WTAMU (West Texas A&M University) in Canyon, TX.

I decided to go here based mainly on the fact that they had a Wesley Foundation (Methodist Campus Ministry) where I could be an active part of ministry that was happening. I also went there with the intention of finding a wife I'll admit, and I figured that the Wesley would be a good place to find one. I started again in the fall of 1996, and quickly decided to be an Elementary Ed. major. It would be good to fall back on, and hey, there were tons of girls in this field, so that was a bonus.

After two semesters of that, I changed to being a communications major. I did this for two semesters as well, and then I got married in the fall of 1998. So I then sat out the Spring of 1999, and went back to WT in the fall of 1999 for two more semesters. After the spring of 2000, we moved to Colorado City and I was too far away to finish at WT. So I once again sat out for about 5 semesters.

I then went back to Angelo State University in San Angelo starting in the fall of 2003. I went here for three years and finally graduated in May of 2006. During that time I drove from Sweetwater to San Angelo at least twice a week for those three years. Also, while I was at ASU I started taking online classes through Midland College (is that full circle?) to get my Spanish credits done.

So, for those who are counting, I started in the fall of 1994, and ended in the spring 2006. That is almost 12 years of going to college alone...nearly as long as what I went to elementary, junior high and high school. It was insane, and not really the best way to do it. Granted, I did take off a couple of semesters, and I got married and I had two children during that time. Still, do it all at once if you can, it makes it much easier.

A few of the things that I did learn along the way:

1) Go to class...seriously it is a huge help.

2) Do the work you're supposed to do.

3) Don't take off too many semesters if you don't have to.

4) Don't change your major every couple of semesters.

That's about it. Peace and Love y'all.

My Wedding Day

So the slip that I have drawn for this particular blog is about my wedding. This should be fun.

Tell about your wedding- when, where, by whom, reception, colors, etc. (anything you can remember).

Well I will start at the beginning. Roni and I dated for about 6 weeks at the end of the fall semester of 1996. I remember that I asked her out one night after we had been to the big worship service that we had on campus each Thursday night. We went out the first time, and it was fun...Roni tells the story a little different than I do I'm sure. Anyway, the second time we went out, it was with another couple and I recall that when we got back I told Heath that I thought I could see myself being with this girl for a long time. Of course within about a month of that comment, I broke up with her. Great story right?

Well, for the next year and a half, we developed a relationship as friends that was...different. We would see other people (or at least I would), but then we would end up being together at some point. We would do some kissing and such, and then I would go back to pursuing other young ladies. All the time though, Roni waited for me to realize what it was that she already knew...we were going to be together in the end.

So after a year and a half of dating other girls, and being kissing friends, I woke up on the morning of March 3rd, 1998, and just knew that I was going to marry Roni. I told her later that afternoon about it. I remember the date very clearly because it was the day of my grandfather's funeral. It still seems strange to me that that was the day that it all became so clear to me.

Anyway, we went through 8 months of being engaged, three of which we were in totally different parts of the state, and saw each other only about 4 times in that span.

I remember being mad at some of the bridesmaids, because of some of their pre-wedding stuff...they were more concerned about doing what it was that they wanted to do than they were about being there for the bride it seemed. I remember Roni telling me that I was not allowed to confront any of them, because she didn't want them to be upset (I still think I should have).

So I recall that I got to Quanah late on the night of the rehearsal, but I was still there to do it, so what if I was one of the last ones. One of my groomsmen didn't make it at all for that part. I recall that we were really trying to be laid back and to just have some fun, but that kind of got shot down by Grandad, who was performing the ceremony for us. He really wanted to get to have much more of a say in what we did. We had brisket for our dinner that night and it was great. The guys and I went to a motel after that and did nothing really. It was fantastic.

The next morning Mom called me at about 6:00 so that she and I could go and have breakfast together. I was the first one to do anything like this, so she wanted that one last bit of time together. We had some donuts at a place there in Quanah and just spent a little bit of time talking...I really don't remember what it was about, but I know we did that.

I remember that I got to the church and we did all the pictures before hand, because of the fact that neither one of us really cared about the "tradition" of stuff. We were just happy to be getting married. As the pictures were ending, and some of the girls took Roni to finish getting ready, I was standing up at the front of the sanctuary with Linda, my soon to be mother-in-law, when a couple of the ladies from the church came in and told Linda that they needed her to make a decision for them about our cake...it seems that the bottom layer of the cake had collapsed. Not to worry one of the ladies husband had caught it to keep it from all hitting the floor. The had decided that they didn't want Roni to have to deal with that before hand.

When we finally got to the ceremony part, we had some praise and worship that was led by a friend of ours. I think, looking back, we should have thought this through a little bit better, as it lasted for a long time with all the guests standing for it. Roni's Grandpa and brother-in-law walked her down the aisle, and they had to stand for a while waiting to give her away.

Of course during all of this one of our nephews starts getting all lovey with his brother. All he wanted to do was to put his head on his shoulder, but that wasn't happening. Since all of this is going on just to the right and behind me, we have no idea about it. In the video however, you can see the hand of the best man reach out and grab Austin by the head to settle him down. It was pretty dang funny to see actually.

Also during this time, Roni's hearing goes out, so she can't really hear the praise and worship. And, every time there is a break in the music, Grandad starts to step forward to do his part. Fine if he didn't have a program on him, but he did and it said what songs we were doing.

So we finally get into the actual vows and such and when it comes time for the rings, Roni gives me the wrong hand to put her ring on. I notice this, but felt that for the sake of pushing through, I would ignore it and we would change it later. No such luck with Grandad. He sees the mistake, and with no reservations whatsoever, proceeds to announce to us (and everyone else since he spoke into his microphone) that it was the wrong hand. So we promptly switched hands and carried on. Finally the end got there, we kissed (Roni says rather weakly) and headed off down the aisle for the reception to have cake that had collapsed, been caught, and re-mounted with one less layer.

Our colors were Royal blue and white. Roni had first wanted white and peach, but in my young male ignorance I said that peach "reeked of gayness." Grandad performed the ceremony, Johnny Ray Watson sang for us, and Bryan Sims did the praise and worship.

The bridesmaids were: Kelly Scott, Darla Gaines, Kelly Laxson, Rhonda McClendon, and Julie Hampton.

The groomsmen were: Justin Nesbitt (best man) Bryan Durham, Damon Stalvey, Heath Gaines, and James Settles, with my other brothers coming to stand with us after they had finished being ushers.

The ushers were: Brock Durham, Caleb Durham, Ed Barrett, and Jeremy Hofferty

All in all it was a good day for me 10 years ago. I got the beautiful girl and I'm fulfilled what I told Heath after my second date with Roni: "I can see myself with this girl for a really long time." Peace and Love y'all.

What's in a Room

So just as a refresher, this is from the jar of questions that Roni gave me for Christmas like 3 years ago. I'm finally getting around to actually writing my answers.

Which is your favorite room in your home?

Now this is somewhat of a tricky question I think. See this can go a couple of different ways really. If you ask me what my favorite room is I would say that it is either the living room or my bedroom, as those are the two where I spend the most time. If you asked Roni she might tell you differently. I think she would tell you that it is either the kitchen or the bathroom. I will take a little room here to explain each choice for you.

The Living Room- This is the room where we spend the most time as a family. It is here that we watch movies together, and play games together and just watch some TV together. It is the room that is right there when I first enter and where my girls tend to greet me once I have come through the door, and I do love the way that they greet me. It is a room that is comfortable, and has all the things in it that we really need as a family.

The Bedroom- Ok there are a couple of reasons that this would be my favorite room. Number 1 it has a bed in it. This is where I sleep...and I do enjoy sleeping. Number 2, it has the computer in it, and that is where I get to do this. Third, it has a TV and DVD/VCR in it so that Roni and I can watch stuff later after the girls are in bed, while we are in bed. It's a so very comfortable. Oh, and the fourth reason that I dig this room is the very same reason that most guys dig being in a bedroom...I'm married, so I really like the bedroom.

The Kitchen- Now then, I will admit that I do like the kitchen, but it is not a room that I would just choose to spend a great deal of time in. No, Roni would tell you that the kitchen is one of my favorite rooms because that is where the food is. It's true, I do like to eat. Not just meals either. I like to snack, and where are the snacks? In the kitchen. That would be why it is one of my favorite rooms in the house.

The Bathroom- Roni would tell you if you go by the room where the most time is spent being what qualifies a room as "favorite" that this would have to be it. She seems to think that I spend an awful lot of time in the bathroom. I guess she's right to an extent too. I like this room. It is where I'm able to shower and I like to shower because some of my best ideas occur there (it's weird I know). I also like the fact that I can go there for "relief" from time to time. That is verrrry nice. But I like this room and spend as much time in it as I do because it is where I can get the most privacy while I'm at home. Ladies, do you ever wonder why it is that your husbands/boyfriends take so long in there? It's because it is the one place in the house that no one else can go. It is where we can read and think and not be disturbed (except by the occasional noise that we may generate ourselves). It is the private room. Besides, who is really going to want to go in there while you are helping the room to fulfill its intended purpose? That's what I thought.

So I guess that I would have to say that if you determine "favorite" by where you spend the most time (not counting being asleep) then the bathroom would be the winner. Now you know a little bit more than you did before. Peace and Love y'all.

Cry, Cry, Cry

So a couple of years ago for Christmas, Roni gave me this jar that was filled with little slips of paper. Well each slip has something on it and the idea is that you draw out a slip of paper, at random, and write about what ever it is that is written on it. This is something that she had hoped could be collected for our children sometime in the future. So I have finally decided to start writing about what is on the slips of paper, and they will be called "Daddy's Love Letters". Bear with me and I hope that you are able to maybe gain something from these.

What kinds of things make you cry? When was the last time you can remember crying?

Well Roni always gives me a hard time about my crying. It seems that she has come to believe that the only things that can move me to tears, or at least near tears, on a regular basis are things that have to do with sports. I will agree that, yes a good sports movie will at least bring me to the edge of crying, they are not the only things.

As I have gotten older, it seems like it takes less and less for me to be moved to the verge of tears. It can be nearly anything at times: a touching story, talking to a friend, worship that is true and real and heartfelt.

The first year that I was a director for the mid-high camp out at Butman, the very first night in worship I nearly fell apart. As I stood at the mid-point of Shep Chapel I looked around and saw close to 100 junior high age kids worshiping in such a way that I was very deeply moved. The thing that really set it off for me though was when I got to looking around at all of the counselors that were there and how they were worshiping. It was the realization that of the 20 or so counselors that were there, I had been the youth pastor for at least 7 of them at sometime, and there were others that, even though I personally had not been their youth pastor, I had spent time with them at various camps. None of that is to say that I was the reason that they were able to worship in the way that they did. No, all I had done was be a part of their lives as we all learned to worship. But seeing them all there, and knowing that I really had had some kind of influence on them, that was special.

Other than that, my kids sometimes make me want to cry. It's something that seems to come out of a place of such deep love that I can't even explain it. I think it has to do with their innocence and wonder at things. I really have no way to explain what it is really that moves me so often with my kids, but there are times that my heart is so filled with love for them that it seems the only response is tears.

I can tell you the last five times that I really remember crying for anything significant. All of these things are dependent on when you read this really, since by the time Averi and Aspen and Knight can read this and appreciate it, there will have surely been more times than these. At this point though, here are the last five times that I really cried.

1) May 15, 2004- I remember the exact date really. It was the last day of classes for me, and I had one final to take and I was done. So I took the final and hurried back to Sweetwater from San Angelo. I was trying to hurry because we were supposed to have a doctor's appointment that day to see how far pregnant we were. We already knew we were, it was just a matter of how far along now. When I got into town I went straight to the clinic as I knew that Roni was already there. On my way down the hall I stopped to go to the restroom and when I came out I saw Roni walk past in the hall and she was very visibly upset about something. I hurried to catch her, and see what was wrong, but I was pretty sure that I already knew what it must be. When the doctor has done the preliminary sonogram, there was no heartbeat for the baby, even though you could see where the baby was. That broke my heart and I finally cried about it later that afternoon talking to my pastor.

2) July 2005- It was the last night of Senior high camp out at Butman, and it was the end of the worship service. I had done great all week up to this point, but I knew without a doubt that I wasn't going to make it the rest of the night without breaking down. Beau was leaving camp early that night so that he and Chelsea could head to Prosper the next day to close on the house they were buying for their move away from Snyder. Even though we were seperated by about 40 miles, over the last two years Beau and I had gotten to be really close. We hung out every chance we got, we were co-directors of the Mid-high camp at Butman, and we were both youth pastors. He was the best friend I had at that time thanks to the proximity of our locations, and I knew that it would be different once they had moved to the Metroplex. It's much harder to see each other when you are 4 hours apart. We have remained close, but knowing that that was one of the last nights was very hard for me, and I cried for a while.

3) Late Spring/Early Summer 2006- Some of our very closest friends had found out that they were pregnant once again. They had had difficulty, not with getting pregnant, but with miscarriages. It looked like this one though would be different. Everything seemed to be good for them. Then they went in for a check-up and they found that there was something wrong. The baby wasn't growing like it was supposed to be. They thought at first it was Trisomy 18, but then there seemed to be good news, that it wasn't that, so we had hope for them. Then the news came that what the baby had was so rare it had never before been seen in their town, which was is fairly large. I remember my heart breaking for them as I prayed not only for the child, but for our friends as well. In mid June, they reached a point where all that could be done was to take the baby early and give them at least a few minutes with him before he passed on. My heart still breaks for them when I think about it.

4) October 2006- This was the month I resigned from FUMC in Sweetwater in order to move to San Angelo and take the youth position at FUMC. I cried because it meant leaving behind relationships with young people that we had had for 4 1/2 years. As I sat and wrote my resignation letter, I was already stopped up with a head cold. Writing the letter didn't help it at all I will tell you that much.

5) October 24-25, 2007- These were the last two days that got to spend with Grandad. He had gone to the hospital in Altus, OK for emergency hernia surgery. It was typically a routine thing, and yet he never really was able to recover. I remember talking to both Roni and Damon on the phone on the night of the 24th and crying as I did so. Grandad passed away on the 25th as they were flying him to Lubbock to get him more of the help he needed. We were on the road at the time, caravaning from Altus to Lubbock when we got the call.

So there it is. The things that make me cry and the last few times that I had a good decent cry.

Peace and Love ya'll.